BTC under attack: folded time-warp exploit

I recently shared the below idea to help someone less fortunate get BTC for cheap. I assume I was time crossed by an individual I sought to help since my time machine is missing and BTC now appears to be draining into another dimension.

What likely happened is that the person who stole my time machine has accidentally created a Bouman Tunnel thereby entangling today’s blockchain with the future’s hypercubechain. This opens the door for time traders to create excessive supply on our exchanges by backlogging their BTC. They do this strictly to force down price and buy more. There is extremely limited BTC supply in the future so rogue time traders do whatever they can to nab ours.